Feenix to Seattle

Lady in front of me can't stop talking to her new best friend in the next seat. I can't concentrate on anything else. My headphones just make it worse so I'm going to be her court reporter. I moved to the middle seat so I can hear better. Dyed bright hair. Mother had cancer. They wouldn't give her enough morphine. She wants to be cremated. Throw a big party 8 or ten weeks after her death and play Led Zepplin music. Dog had something like mange. Cost $175. Friend gave her $25 toward bill. Had to put it to sleep, but they won't let people do that, cause they treat dogs better. Her other dog was bitten by her ex-husband's dog. He gave her $75 toward the bill. Shops at Trader Joe's. Good cheese and chicken and of course desserts, but they don't have too many desserts. Likes Foster Farms chicken. Man, I can't keep up. Now we're on to pumpkin soup. The CD's got 10000 recipes on it, but apparently no pumpkin soup! We've been airborne about 15 minutes. She goes to Goodwill. Not sure if she's sleeping under a bridge. Loves German sausage even tho she used to be a vegetarian. Then chicken was OK, fish was OK. Squeezes her own juice. And freezes it. Lost 17 pounds. Friend lives close and has a huge swimming pool, but she just likes to lay out a couple times a week so she goes to her son's apartment. Going to Big Sur this summer (just like her new friend) and went to Cabo last summer - went snorkling, but they're just pushing time shares. The meals were SO expensive - 15 - 23 dollars. Lot of resort areas. Oooooo! Very sucky! At least she speaks Spanish. Her daughter Alexis said "You speak Spanish?". Well, at least the swear words.Why did they take the knives out of the planes. I could pry open a window and get sucked out!Alexis didn't want to go to Alaska, so I think it's Jamaica next. This is riveting! Are you asleep yet? No intentions of getting caught in a foreign country. She carries her key. She's going to poke him in the eye with her key.If she's tired and you wake her up she's mean! - Information overload. No bus tours. Walking tours only. The castle in Germany was a disappointment. It wasn't a real castle. It was made in the 20th century. Bummer. Never going back to Japan. Not sure why. Wants to go to Italy, Greece, Prague, maybe the Dominican Republic since she speaks some Spanish. The hotel in the Yucatan was walls with hooks for hammocks. Believe me, she was pissed, or as her friend told the proprietor, "My friend is very hot tempered." Had to use the animal yard for a bathroom. I think I've accidently been sucked into a Soap or maybe a "Lost" episode.Good news! She likes Hawaii! My God! I think she wore herself out! She's kicked her seat back and turned off her reading light. What am I going to do for the rest of the trip?! I think her mouth actually closed! But it's still smoking.

Whew! And I only got half of it! That's all for now.