Hi Y'all,
I am perplexed! I am confused! But y'all already knew that.
I'm at The Inn at Penn. Ooooh! Sounds impressive, but it's just another hotel with overpriced rooms and parking because it's on the edge of a college campus and everybody knows if you can afford to send your kid to college you must have more money lying around somewhere that they can get their hands on.
At any rate, my question is: What the heck do I need with thirteen pillows on my bed? I am not exaggerating here. Three brown print pillows. Three flannel plain brown pillows. Five plain white "sleeping" pillows. One narrow brown pillow to make the other pillows look cool on the bed. At least I think there is a bed under there. Who does this?
Wait a minute. 3+3+5+1 =12.
OK, I was exaggerating.
Never mind.
Smee
Friday, July 10, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
I need a brain and a gun.
Hi All,
All excited to get done in Bethesda MD early and head to the airport - Ron Reagan National. Dropped off my car and made it to the Northwest ticket counter in record time, hoping to get on any earlier flight. Yeah sure. My flight wouldn't come up on the computer and so with the help of a ticket agent I determined I was really early for a flight out of..........wait for it............
BALTIMORE.
Who flies you into one airport and out of another? OK, it was my fault. What a dope! Maybe I should have read the itinerary a little closer. Of course there is nothing so bad that it can't be made worse (with a little help). The ticket agents were clueless how to get from one airport to the other, because no one has ever done this before . A baggage guy sent me to the Super Shuttle, which would get me to BWI for $45.
I checked with the driver to make sure I could pay with a credit card since I have no cash. He said he needed cash to get gas before driving that far. He gets out of the car and proceeds to have a loud argument with the coordinator behind the shuttle. While he's doing this I notice he has over half a tank of gas. He finally gets back in and says he'll take me to the next terminal where something indeterminant will take place.
We go into the terminal to the scheduling desk where another argument ensues, which the driver apparently loses and he storms out and gets in his van to drive me, I guess. I follow him since my bag is still in his van, open the back door and pull out my suitcase, telling him (yelling, actually) that I'd find my own way to the airport. I pulled my bags back inside and tell the scheduler that I wasn't riding with that idiot. She tells me she's sending him home. She's having a great day too. Seems another driver tried to make customer pay cash 'cause he needed to pay his rent! She sent him home also. So now I'm in a van with a driver that was threatened with being sent home because he was supposed to pick up a fare and just disappeared. There's no telling where I might end up, so check your milk cartons.
At least I was early!
All excited to get done in Bethesda MD early and head to the airport - Ron Reagan National. Dropped off my car and made it to the Northwest ticket counter in record time, hoping to get on any earlier flight. Yeah sure. My flight wouldn't come up on the computer and so with the help of a ticket agent I determined I was really early for a flight out of..........wait for it............
BALTIMORE.
Who flies you into one airport and out of another? OK, it was my fault. What a dope! Maybe I should have read the itinerary a little closer. Of course there is nothing so bad that it can't be made worse (with a little help). The ticket agents were clueless how to get from one airport to the other, because no one has ever done this before . A baggage guy sent me to the Super Shuttle, which would get me to BWI for $45.
I checked with the driver to make sure I could pay with a credit card since I have no cash. He said he needed cash to get gas before driving that far. He gets out of the car and proceeds to have a loud argument with the coordinator behind the shuttle. While he's doing this I notice he has over half a tank of gas. He finally gets back in and says he'll take me to the next terminal where something indeterminant will take place.
We go into the terminal to the scheduling desk where another argument ensues, which the driver apparently loses and he storms out and gets in his van to drive me, I guess. I follow him since my bag is still in his van, open the back door and pull out my suitcase, telling him (yelling, actually) that I'd find my own way to the airport. I pulled my bags back inside and tell the scheduler that I wasn't riding with that idiot. She tells me she's sending him home. She's having a great day too. Seems another driver tried to make customer pay cash 'cause he needed to pay his rent! She sent him home also. So now I'm in a van with a driver that was threatened with being sent home because he was supposed to pick up a fare and just disappeared. There's no telling where I might end up, so check your milk cartons.
At least I was early!
Monday, June 29, 2009
MSP Car Chase
Hi All,
I'm Minneapolis, waiting for a tire to be changed on my connecting flight to Philadelphia. They entertained us in the boarding area with a highspeed police chase on TV from Dallas, with over 11 cars chasing some idiot in a Camry-sized vehicle doing a hundred plus. Unfortunately it was decided to board us before both the tire change and car chase were over. Check it out on the internet.
Looks like we're ready to go. Just felt the thunk of the jack going down.
Everybody have a great week
Smee
I'm Minneapolis, waiting for a tire to be changed on my connecting flight to Philadelphia. They entertained us in the boarding area with a highspeed police chase on TV from Dallas, with over 11 cars chasing some idiot in a Camry-sized vehicle doing a hundred plus. Unfortunately it was decided to board us before both the tire change and car chase were over. Check it out on the internet.
Looks like we're ready to go. Just felt the thunk of the jack going down.
Everybody have a great week
Smee
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
My aching back!
Here I am in Atlanta, to work at Morehouse College, Emory University and Georgia State. Staying at the downtown Hilton Garden Inn. Just recovering from last night's attempt to sleep. Went to bed at 11ish and slept soundly until 12:23 when I discovered that while sleeping on the left side, I would occassionally get too warm/uncomforfable and attempt to roll to the other side of the bed. That's when I discovered there was kind of a wall and hill in the center of the bed. This may sound like a small inconvenience, but if Wilbur and Orville used a similar slope to launch their first airplane the aircraft industry would be years ahead of its present point and we could conceivably be living on Mars. I watched the digital clock until 3AM when I finally couldn't take it any longer and turned on the light and found a card with the title "In Room Comfort Guide". Lo and Behold I was on a Garden Sleep System bed that was providing me with a "Restorative Night's Sleep"! Yay! So I pumped up the right side and softened the left side. WooHoo! The results were similar to the bunny hill at [insert your favorite ski resort here]. I could get to the other side, but a rope tow would have helped.
Tonight I sleep on the other bed. I'll let you know................
Smee
Tonight I sleep on the other bed. I'll let you know................
Smee
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Exercising in Philly
Made it!
When i got to the airport I stupidly went to NWA since I had a NWA ticket. "No", the machine said. "You have to check in with Delta, which is at the other end of the airport. That would be about a mile from here." So I hoof it for a half hour, happy that I have enough time to make it anyway. At the Delta end I stand in line for a while until they have a few kiosks available on the other side of the crowd, so another guy and I wander over there only to discover that the machines won't check us in because we have NWA tickets. So we get back in line behind the people who got in during our absence. After an hour wait the agents are frantically looking for Salt Lake passengers and bring us to the front and get us on our way. Once through Security I find myself with enough time to get some food to take on the plane, since the agent said I missed 1st class by a row. I wolf down a piece of pizza and a Coke just in time to board - in 1st class, where I'll probably get something to eat. Oh well better to be 1st and full than last and empty. CU soon.
Smee
When i got to the airport I stupidly went to NWA since I had a NWA ticket. "No", the machine said. "You have to check in with Delta, which is at the other end of the airport. That would be about a mile from here." So I hoof it for a half hour, happy that I have enough time to make it anyway. At the Delta end I stand in line for a while until they have a few kiosks available on the other side of the crowd, so another guy and I wander over there only to discover that the machines won't check us in because we have NWA tickets. So we get back in line behind the people who got in during our absence. After an hour wait the agents are frantically looking for Salt Lake passengers and bring us to the front and get us on our way. Once through Security I find myself with enough time to get some food to take on the plane, since the agent said I missed 1st class by a row. I wolf down a piece of pizza and a Coke just in time to board - in 1st class, where I'll probably get something to eat. Oh well better to be 1st and full than last and empty. CU soon.
Smee
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Goin' to Kansas City - They got some crazy little women there and most of them work at the airport.
So I got done working at Stowers Institute in KC after a day of everything going wrong and just enough time to make it to one of the worst laid out airports in the country. Got off the rental car shuttle but when the driver announced "Terminal B". He didn't mention that Delta is not at the beginning of the concourse but 3/4's of a mile away at the other end.
Signage isn't particularly descriptive either. Consequently I barely made it to my gate in time toooooooooo............wait for 2 hours while mechanics tried usuccessfully to repair the wing flaps. When it was officially a 'mechanical' problem, the Gate Fairies began to work their magic. We all stood in line once more for 45 minutes to see what they could do for us.
"Well Mr. Papp, since you are Double Platinum Purple Gold and Diamond we are going to switch that nasty 1st Class seat on your old plane and get you into Row 38 on this plane and get you out right now. You've got plenty of time in Atlanta to make your connection to Roanoke tonight!"
Well, maybe. Assuming the plane doesn't leave a half hour late and the plane you're trying to catch isn't leaving from C47 and you land at A15 and the damn thing left 10 minutes early anyway. So now I'm in line again, eagerly anticipating the next part of my adventure. No, actually I'm getting pissed at this point. "So how do I get my luggage?"
"You can't Sir. It goes to a secured area and will be put on your plane to Roanoke tomorrow morning, where you will have no access to a hotel room since you are now staying in a flophouse on us in Atlanta tonight. No really, you CAN get your bag, it will just take 6 hours for us to find it assuming it made it onto this plane in the first place, which is unlikely since, in a cost-saving move, Delta is hiring baggage handlers directly from Mrs. Fergusson's 4th grade class in Sussex County Mediocre Minds Elementary. But cheer up. Here is a bag of essentials to cover up the fact that you're one step away from living under a bridge, and it contains a dandy SkyTeam tee shirt so you can advertise to your friends how we took care of you tonight. Have a nice evening."
So I get in another line - this one to wait for a bus to the Courtyard Inn North, only there isn't a bus to Courtyard Inn North, so I ask the driver of the Courtyard Inn South if there is another bus. He says "Yeah, but I'll drop you off myself". So the nice man drops me off in front of the hotel, I give him a couple bucks for going out of his way and walk in waving my airline chit. The clerk looks at it and says "Sir, this is the Country Inn. The Courtyard is across the street". She points to another building. So I walk across the street, but being smarter now, I look at the sign this time. "Wellesley Inn". She pointed across the wrong street!
I give up. So I dumped my laptop and new tee in my room and went down to the "Mexican" restaurant. You don't wanna know..........Hoping to be back someday.
Signage isn't particularly descriptive either. Consequently I barely made it to my gate in time toooooooooo............wait for 2 hours while mechanics tried usuccessfully to repair the wing flaps. When it was officially a 'mechanical' problem, the Gate Fairies began to work their magic. We all stood in line once more for 45 minutes to see what they could do for us.
"Well Mr. Papp, since you are Double Platinum Purple Gold and Diamond we are going to switch that nasty 1st Class seat on your old plane and get you into Row 38 on this plane and get you out right now. You've got plenty of time in Atlanta to make your connection to Roanoke tonight!"
Well, maybe. Assuming the plane doesn't leave a half hour late and the plane you're trying to catch isn't leaving from C47 and you land at A15 and the damn thing left 10 minutes early anyway. So now I'm in line again, eagerly anticipating the next part of my adventure. No, actually I'm getting pissed at this point. "So how do I get my luggage?"
"You can't Sir. It goes to a secured area and will be put on your plane to Roanoke tomorrow morning, where you will have no access to a hotel room since you are now staying in a flophouse on us in Atlanta tonight. No really, you CAN get your bag, it will just take 6 hours for us to find it assuming it made it onto this plane in the first place, which is unlikely since, in a cost-saving move, Delta is hiring baggage handlers directly from Mrs. Fergusson's 4th grade class in Sussex County Mediocre Minds Elementary. But cheer up. Here is a bag of essentials to cover up the fact that you're one step away from living under a bridge, and it contains a dandy SkyTeam tee shirt so you can advertise to your friends how we took care of you tonight. Have a nice evening."
So I get in another line - this one to wait for a bus to the Courtyard Inn North, only there isn't a bus to Courtyard Inn North, so I ask the driver of the Courtyard Inn South if there is another bus. He says "Yeah, but I'll drop you off myself". So the nice man drops me off in front of the hotel, I give him a couple bucks for going out of his way and walk in waving my airline chit. The clerk looks at it and says "Sir, this is the Country Inn. The Courtyard is across the street". She points to another building. So I walk across the street, but being smarter now, I look at the sign this time. "Wellesley Inn". She pointed across the wrong street!
I give up. So I dumped my laptop and new tee in my room and went down to the "Mexican" restaurant. You don't wanna know..........Hoping to be back someday.
The Other One Was Beautiful!
So I'm in the airport and as I'm walking down the concourse I see two women in passing, walking together holding hands, one dressed like a guy. As I am waiting in my seat on the plane who should appear, but the two of them, standing by my seat kissing about 10 times and who stays with me while the other heads for the back of the plane???? Of course, I get the 'guy'! It keeps looking over its shoulder longingly toward the back. Ick! Gotta run.
Smee
Smee
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
