Friday, April 18, 2008

Oh, Crap!

So I’m on the plane to Syracuse – The “40 minute flight” took 40 minutes to get off the ground. This, after missing my 4:30 flight where they gave away my seat 18 minutes before the flight was scheduled to leave. “You have to be in your seat 15 minutes before the scheduled departure time, Sir.” The rules are pretty strict when they apply to the passenger and not the airline.

Anyway, the flight attendant gives us her “This is a real short flight and I don’t have time for any crap, so you’re getting Coke and Sprite and their diet equivalents” speech and suddenly RUNS the length of the plane and disappears into the lavatory. She emerges about 5 minutes later and makes an announcement. “Uh, the lavatory is, uh, well, you’ll have to very careful, uh, using the lavatory, uh, because the, uh, toilet, uh, well, doesn’t flush, uh, properly and, uh, well, you need to be very careful using it.”

Gee, maybe that’s why it smells in here! Needless to say, no one used the lavatory.

Flying really is fun though!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Further Adventures of the Flying Papp Show

Soooooooooo……Another day in the airport jungle. I got finished at Harvard in good time and arrived at the airport 3 ½ hours before my flight. Score!! Or not. United (Our Motto: We’ll get you somewhere, eventually, we think.) Decided 3 ½ hours in advance that their 7:15 flight would be delayed long enough that I would miss my connection to Charlottesville in Washington DC.

My option was to take a flight out in the AM, which would ultimately get me home, maybe Saturday? After pressuring them they agreed to send me on a USAir flight to Pittsburgh (Wasn’t I in Pittsburgh yesterday?) that would allow enough time to make a connection to VA. OK. Now all I had to do was walk a mile from Terminal C to Terminal B. No problem, I need the exercise.

So I get to USAir where I’m told that I now don’t have a ticket on either United OR USAir. Perfect! After 2 hours of phone calls and standing around, they realize the agent voided the wrong ticket and gave me the correct ticket - to seat 17C. “So what about the First Class ticket that I originally had?” I ask, brazenly tempting fate. “Did you pay for First Class?”. “Beats me”, I think. “Yeaaaah, sure I did”. OK, we have a seat left in 1st if you don’t mind a window. I settled.

Then God got even with me at Security, where I had the privilege of a free frisking. Now I find out this flight is also delayed, so I still may not make my connection. I called the account and told them I’d be there when I got there, unless the airlines had anything to do with it.

P.S. I’m now in Philadelphia with about 10 minutes between flights thanks to delays at both ends, but my Blackberry is not. I have no idea where I had it last. I think maybe at the USAir desk. Don’t recall taking it through Security. God, I love traveling! I wish I was better at it.